Strangely, Harry was the classic ‘dud’. Strangely, because he was a manager on the fast track. He was hardworking, smart, and he had ambition. But he never felt at ease with groups or in discussions. He worried about how he came across. That made him uptight, and not much fun to be around. People didn’t respond to Harry. They didn’t do their best work for him. Because of that, the people above him had put Harry on the back burner. A promotion for Harry would not be coming anytime soon.

Harry’s case isn’t unusual, says Richard Friesen, co-founder of Leadership Magnetics (leadershipmagnetics.com), a consulting business based in San Anselmo, Calif., that trains leaders in communication techniques.

“Most executives and business people have bad communication habits and relationship habits that prevent them from being charismatic,” Friesen says. “Fortunately, it doesn’t take a lot to change these bad habits.”

Harry changed. Now he enjoys talking to others, and they enjoy talking to him. He manages people without tensing up. In fact, he feels playful. And he sparks the creativity and intelligence of those he directs and works with. Together, he and his team solve problems no one person could single-handedly crack.

Now, Harry is thrilled by his work, and his company is thrilled with him. He’s burning up the fast track to a bigger job.

“Harry” is simply a prototype of a successful student in the Alpha Presence Program offered by Leadership Magnetics, but his progress is reflected in the experiences of many real business executives, Friesen says.

Other management experts agree you can build your own charisma. And it’s important that you do.

“For any kind of leader, having charisma makes it a lot easier to do extraordinary things,” says Dr. William Cohen (stuffofheroes.com), a business consultant, author of New Art of the Leader and a retired major general in the U.S. Air Force Reserve who flew 174 combat missions in the Vietnam War.

“A leader must have someone who will follow,” notes Debra Benton (debrabenton.com), author of Executive Charisma: Six Steps to Mastering the Art of Leadership. “People must like and trust you, and this becomes more important the higher you get in an organization, because you have to get useful things done through people.”

Charisma arises from success, says Cohen, whose latest book is Secrets of Special Ops Leadership: Dare the Impossible—Achieve the Extraordinary, published by Amacom. Napoleon Bonaparte, recognizing this, said, “My power is dependent on my glory, and my glory on my victories.”

But Cohen and the other experts say you don’t have to wait for success to nurture your charisma. They say the following seven suggestions will put you on the path to inspirational leadership.

1. Connect with Other People
People will feel you are special if you make them feel special, Friesen says. To do this, you must reach them directly. Practice this with a trusted friend: Sit and look at each other for 15 seconds with direct eye contact, and note your feelings. Relax your face. Be mentally available to the other person. Don’t allow irrelevant thoughts to creep in, instead, go into a meditative state. Feel yourself open up to the other person. This is the way a charismatic person links up with other people, one person at a time. “Talk with eye contact and a soft face, speaking from the relationship,” Friesen says. Former President Bill Clinton, who often physically touches other people while speaking to them (his hand on their forearm or shoulder), personifies the charismatic person who knows how to connect.

2. Give People Hope
To get others to do their best, you must bring out the best in them. That means that you must believe they can do great things. You must give them hope. So treat people with respect. “Even with difficult people, you can appreciate their struggle,” Friesen says. If a person talks too much, respect his enthusiasm. If another seems too aggressive, appreciate her drive. “Choose an attitude that is neutral and constructive,” Benton says. “You expect and give acceptance.” Value the slow worker for his patience and the sloppy worker for her speed. Help them make corrections in the work, but value the worker.

3. Slow Down
People expect their heroes to be steady in tough times, so make your personal style steady. Don’t dash about frenetically. Don’t yammer. “Be subtle, hold back,” Benton says. Act with assurance, exuding what the military calls “command presence.” Pace yourself to steady other people’s nerves, and your own. When you enter a room, pause and look around. When you sit down, pause before you begin speaking. “The more time you give yourself, the more status people give you,” Benton says.

4. Look the Part
Stand tall and straight, and dress like a winner. Cohen says you can pick up some good tips from the book Dress for Success, by John T. Molloy. Also, take your cues from the way successful people in your field dress. “The way you dress should be carefully built around the particular image of the kind of leader you represent,” Cohen says.

5. Be Mysterious
When you accomplish something great, just smile when people ask you how you did it. Perhaps it was because you knew someone in the marketing department who owed you a favor. Perhaps it was because you found out from the Big Boss’s secretary that he had suddenly developed an obsession with one-page briefings: You banged out several of those briefings, and got him to add more staff to your department. Those methods seem mundane, so don’t tell people you used them. Instead, let people think you worked your own special magic. “Magicians never tell you how they do their tricks, because... to do so would mean a loss to some of their mystique,” Cohen says.

6. Ask Questions and Ask Favors
If someone hits you with a question you can’t handle easily, ask him or her questions to buy time while you sort out your thoughts, Benton suggests. As a charismatic person, you want to appear thoughtful and ready for anything, and the information you are gathering, as well as the delay you are creating, will help you formulate an impressive answer. Also, ask favors from those you lead to strengthen your bond with them. For instance, if your business has designed a new product, ask your assistant to do you a favor and tell you what he thinks of it. Showing you value his opinion will raise you in his esteem.

7. Show Your Commitment
It’s not enough to be committed to a goal, you must also show those you lead your commitment to that goal, says Cohen, who is president of the Institute of Leader Arts at Touro University International. You can do this, for instance, by being persistent, going to extraordinary lengths, making personal sacrifices, and taking risks. Finally, he says, a charismatic person must dream big. No one wants to work hard and sacrifice to achieve small goals, so make your goals exciting, both for you and those around you. “Have big dreams and foster high hopes among those you lead,” Cohen says, “and your charisma will never be in doubt.”

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