• Wow is that Fascinating! - Discover your Anthropologist
• Alpha Quick Tip – Ready for an Anthropological Adventure?
• Take this Ten Minute Survey about Money

A dear friend gave me a copy of the book "The Ten Faces of Innovation" by Tom Kelly for Christmas. Kelly starts the first chapter, ‘The Anthropologist’ with the above Proust quote.

As we seek to improve our professional and personal relationships, our history with another person filters and colors how we see them. We create a “story” we tell ourselves about them that sets pre-determined attitudes and responses.

Kelly notes that an anthropologist practices observations with the Zen principle of a "beginner’s mind." This allows new discoveries because an anthropological attitude can embrace human behavior with all its surprises.

As long as I keep a set of internal expectations about someone’s behaviors that is unexpressed and without mutual agreement, I am bound to be disappointed. This disappointment leads to the disparaging stories I repeat to myself and others until it becomes the reality. When I meet this person, I react to the story I have created about them, which makes is difficult to discover, enjoy, be amused and expand our mutual creativity.

"Wow is this fascinating!"

What if you were to say this aloud when you discover unexpected or unpleasant behaviors in your employees, peers or bosses? What if you were to treasure the unexpected and treat it like a beautiful gem to be studied and appreciated?

When we react negatively to a behavior that is unexpected, that means our expectations are ready for an upgrade. What an opportunity to learn and expand our engagement with others. For our budding anthropologists, I recommend this month’s adventure in our ‘Alpha Quick Tip’ section.

The next time you find yourself surprised, disappointed or hurt in a professional or personal relationship, take a moment, take a breath and say the following:

"Wow, is that fascinating! I was expecting ... (fill in the blank) and you did ... (fill in the blank with facts as an anthropologist would state them without judgments). What is interesting is that my immediate reaction was (state personal reaction or how you interpreted their behavior)."

"Would you be interested in helping me figure out what just happened?"

Your excitement and interest in the problem can be contagious. If you feel positive regard for the other person, they may feel safe enough to continue the conversation and you will have a great anthropological discovery about yourself, your relationship and your environment.

In preparation for our free tele-seminar, ‘Romance Your Money,’ on February 2, 2005 at 6:00 PM Pacific Time, we are taking a survey (anonymous) of your attitudes towards money. Whether or not you join our tele-seminar, taking this survey alone may trigger new awareness about your attitudes on financial success.

Click here to take the 10 minute anonymous money survey
Click here to watch my 90 second personal video invitation to the tele-seminar
Click here for the tele-seminar details

The survey report will be sent to all tele-seminar attendees and I will summarize the analysis in the next issue of Alpha Presence Press.